Dialogue Description:

What images come to mind when we think of a teacher? social worker? fundraiser? therapist? midwife? What representations and histories shape the large demographics of white females in what are seen as “helping” and “care-taking” professions? How does white privilege, “the white man’s burden“, and structural racism play into all of this? How do notions of “feminine labor” shape our understandings, expectations and life experiences? Whose work is in the spotlight, whose is made invisible? How are white women socialized to draw them into care-taking and helping professions? How does the disproportionate number of white women in these professions impact these industries and the people being “helped”? What should we be aware of in the broader landscape of labor struggles and alliances? Let’s dive into these complex waters and see what comes up.

Dialogue Notes:

These are rough, uncut, unfiltered, and anonymous notes taken at the dialogue. We get that these may not be very readable to those who were not in attendance at the dialogue, and, honestly, sometimes even to those of us who were. We still feel it is important to keep them available as part of our accountability process and for archiving and reference purposes.  Some of these notes have been digested/transformed into blogs.

Check-in: Something we’ve noticed about white women in the past month, what is our job, how do we identify?

Presented the “Pyramid Buffer” theory: 

Men get management or security and maintenance jobs – soldiers, police, guards, or the enforcing roles

Women are helping people get by and care for people who really need help:

-unpaid in the home (kids, elderly, disabled)

-low-paid service professions

-take care of people, minimally,

-keep hope alive – because some families can get ahead – some people get into college, some get subsidized housing. They become the force that allows everyone else for not working hard enough.

*download pyramid on website

social service vs social changed

mostly middle class white women taking care of everyone else. If poc get into buffer zone they get in at the lowest level.

Bone to pick – the work I do as an educator is created to do empowerment work, transform the system, not protect it.

Question: if we are pushed into the buffer place – how do you use that position to throw around the whole system?

Pushed into caretaking – not necessarily oppressive. Its beautiful to assume the role of healer, and to be in service. Where oppression comes in – is how as a privileged white women helping communities “that need the things I want to offer” – feels more important than working with hip white wealthier San Franciscans.

Oppression around saying that if I say I’m a teacher – they assume I’m an elementary school teacher, or if I say healer they assume…

Feminized labor – better at taking care of the body than the mind

Historically – comes out of Christianity – charity – the only access to the community was through helping people and charity. Women were not allowed in public spheres, they were only allowed as to help. The basic training – be sexual, take care of people.

Its really important cause at this point, women are really steered into those roles.

Superiority – you need to share your goods with the less fortunate.

Save people’s souls – get them back on the proper family structure, regulate their sexuality, get them into capitalism. And capitalist heaven. Then they individualize the social structure – they focus on individual problems, makes it hard to look at institutions.

Claim a counter identity and point to a counter narrative – “angry white women against ….”

Like in the prison industrial complex.

Assumptions of “nature” to naturalize exploitation – there’s something about them that makes them particulalary good at this specific work. It’s in your genes.

Status –

Careers in Which Women Outnumber Men

• registered nurses (91.7% women)
• elementary and middle school teachers (81.2%)
• insurance underwriters (80.3%)
• medical and health services managers (69.4%)
• social and community service managers (68.1%)
• human resource managers (66.3%)
• education administrators (65.1%)
• advertising and promotion managers (62%)
• accountants and auditors (61.1%)
• public relations managers (60.3%)
• budget analysts (57.1%)
• financial managers (54.8%)
• medical scientists (52.3%)

http://www.campusexplorer.com/college-advice-tips/7212FD95/Top-Careers-for-Women/

THEMES

• Status in different jobs – The ways caretaking jobs are paid less and devalued in a larger cultural lenz, and paid higher than manual labor
• Dangerous Minds – Michelle Pfeifer
• Missionary work
• Closed-Loop/Identity as a helper/Narcisitic narratives. The way we reach out as a “helper” then there is so much pressure- it becomes a narcissism- over identified with what I’m doing for the world – ego satisfied by helping. Needed to be needed.
  • There are things I don’t do, because the problems don’t think big enough. So I can’t engage in the other things that matter.
  • We have a finite amount of help we think we should offer and do offer.
  • Self-worth connected to it. Devaluing of my own needs.
  • Everyone’s needs are more important than my own needs.
  • People identified as care takers having trouble receiving care.
  • Market myself as a consultant – sell myself as a “helper” or really helpful.
  • Narcissim- I’m not doing anything-to-I’m doing so much – a pendulum that swings – pathological – too much or not enough. Or two sides of the same coin. They can reinforce each other – scarcity and excess.
  • I’m filled with a deep need to find a balance: I can do what I can do and that is a balance.
  • Not enoughness and toomuchness narratives. I don’t know where its coming from, but I feel really resentful of it. I love just getting into things. That feels really liberatory. Feeling an accumulation of resentment of how much mind and heart space it’s taken up.
  • Who has the privilege to brand yourself
  • When we have narssarcist narratives – it takes away from focusing on the system, focuses individually, what am I doing wrong or write.
  • It’s my responsilibiyt to do…. Instead of transforming the system.
  • Not-enough-ness, It’s not transformative enough. can seem like ego-less-ness but is still raging ego. It’s all about me “I’m stretched so thin cause everyone needs my amazing talents.”
  • It can be taken to the extreme – hourding and advice giving and “helping” constantly when it’s not helpful at all.
• Addiction
  • Broadening way beyond substances- caretaking addiction – people are caretaking addicts – they need to do it, at the level of really not being able to receive care or being in touch with more difficult emotions which can be transcended by caretaking. Bypass feelings I have, I meet that by feeling – I can’t deal with my depression, I’ll deal with yours.
  • I’ll show up with work because I don’t want to deal with my life. Codependancy is what we are talking about
  • Professionalize codependency- as social worker
  • That’s one lenz, but there is another. There is such an interesting balance in recognizing the ways in which something that we are doing are harmful or unhealthy – recognizing that there is something beautiful there to.
  • We are socialized to de-value the work that we do. As we do the analysis, not fall into the trap of devaluing what we do.
  • What do you take responsibility for? what do you not take responsibility for?
• Access
  • We have the privilege to open up access, but access to what? The buffer zone? Access to what?
  • How much certain professions are paid, but how certain skills are more valued- had some plaque build up about that.

• Healing
  • I came into acupuncture school through public health, and looking at health disparities – I want to address the people who have the least access to health care. I also feel like in a lot of ways I’ve been sheltered in the white world. The whole Michelle Pfeifer thing – I don’t know how to work in communities of color. I have some understanding around structural and historical trauma on an intellectual level – but I don’t feel equipped and I don’t have the credentials to do this work to the communities I feel drawn to.
  • If I am the person going in to do this work implies that they can’t do this themselves.  I was going to do addiction work on Reservations and realized that I don’t have to do that, I don’t need to do that. They should meet their own needs.
  • Is this related to downplaying your own needs?
  • A more direct connection to guilt – I’m a part of oppressing, I want to be part of unoppressing in a way that is unoppressing.
  • So much of this is approach – if I can make myself a resource for people than an authority. That feels powerful.
  • The role should not be pathologized. Its really important.
  • I’m a white person and a healer.
  • We are talking at different levels – societal and personal.
  • It gets even more complex for me – I have to ask why I’m drawn to be a healer – it is a white women’s burden thing. And now I have a race and class consciousness and am critically reflecting on the work that I do. I can be a healer and have my identity there, and I can be a white person – but my identity as a healer came out of being socialized as a white woman.
  • It shouldn’t be pathologized but – I wonder what I would do if the world existed as I want it to and there was no oppression. Maybe I love what I’m doing because of my missionary complex.
  • I don’t see a way in which its not inherently problematic
  • I haven’t identified as a healer – I say I’m a practitioner of healing arts – because of the social capital associated with saying “I’m a healer”.
  • People who I feel pulled to work with – mainly class has come up, to “de-bougify” what I think is a very classed profession, issues of access. People from upper class communities appreciating it less.
  • I often trip out, I practice Western Taoist styles of healing – and seeing where Asian Female massage is cheaper – and as me coming in as white women with such deep respect – but still notice this, it comes up a lot.
  • A lot of what I listen to as a body worker – is people’s work – the way work has impacted their bodies. Am I just helping people to advance capitalism by easing symptoms. A lot of the stress diseases are capitalist sicknesses.
  • Yes and the revolt needs healthy bodies who can take the long march.
  • A good question. It’s a yes and.
  • Its also really important for an individual to have release from pain because they live in a world that is out of balance. That tiny moment might not change the bigger picture, but it’s extremely important.
  • As long as we are all stuck in capitalism it shouldn’t be breaking us.
• Being a social worker, I’m forcing myself on people to let me help them. I tell hospitals what to do when my clients show up. Its awful because I don’t want to be in charge of how people live their lives.
  • I try to frame it as I’m trying to help people heal so that they can revolt.
  • Privilege Guilt complex – my needs are not as dire as these other people’s needs because of my privilege.
• Bad mom/deviant mom is selfish – No needs, I help – Your needs are my needs, what do you want? – Connected to historical teacher – not allowed to
• Missionary Complex
• Anti-racism having it itself – the narrative of who is responsible for ending racism getting flipped to shine the light on white people – so now it bends towards white people again being the “saviors”.
• White anti-racist activists assimilating/ helping/ appropriating in the name of justice – but how different is it really from “missionary” work?

• What if you can’t do anything? What if you can’t remedy this? You will be needed by the movement when you are not needed by the movement.

• Right now there are huge movements for better pay by domestic women of color.

• The labor pool being seen as natural

• The loop of white women hiring women of color to work in the home so they can go out and help children of color –it’s a swap – but who is getting paid more. Taking care of each other’s kids, but at grossly different pay scales.

Consciousness of Revolutionary who comes from the Oppressor class – Solidarity activist “certain members of the oppressor class join the oppressed in their struggle for liberation…theirs is a fundamental role, and has been so throughout the history of this struggle” (p. 60)

• Goes through a profound rebirth
• Overcomes their lack of confidence in the people’s ability to think, to want, and to know and their belief that they themselves “must be the executors of the transformation”
• Enters into the situation of those with whom one is solidarity.. fighting at their side and “stops making pious, sentimental, and individualistic gestures and risks an act of love”
• Trusts people, not just talks about them
• Rexamines themselves constantly
• Has no ambiguous behavior
• Does not consider oneself “the proprietor of revolutionary wisdom” who must give their wisdom to the people.
• Enters into communion with the people

I haven’t seen transformation being offered – if a person from East Palo Alto had my job instead of me- that could be transformational. It’s important to remind ourselves not to get into the spiral of negativity –we can talk about transformation all we want- but how do we enact that?

Hearing the liberated – it comes from a place that is really humble and doing deep listening and work from a place of humility and do deep listening and super present in these relationships, that’s the transformation. That’s the only transformation we can do- this is what we have to work with.

My ego is wrapped up in thinking of myself as the “transformer” but really all I can do is transform myself – self transformation is a lot easier as a white woman.

Targeted transformation – self, community, system – not someone else or someone else’s community.

Important to have the long view – real help and helping – can lead you back to a narcissistic place. How am I working for fundamental social change – there are these different levels and really broad levels. I’m changing the way in this narcistic loop.

• Pay scale and service: If the work that you do – the feelings about money with it. Healing arts, teaching etc. shouldn’t be making money – your just a natural, it should be coming from generosity.
  • Comodification of being nice to each other.
  • Pay what you can – best sessions ever. Powerful to be in touch with generosity and being in service.
  • It feels so good to be generous- but assumed that that generosity can be exploited. If your heart is pure, you should just give without getting. A lot of what we have talked about are big iceburg things that we can still talk about.
  • I could offer this in a safe space.

What’s awesome about caretaking white women

• the commitment
• the people doing the helping/ the people being/ helped and layers beyond that are all part of interactions that are transformative – not a myopic. We have a role that is bigger than us.
• hopefulness, feeling like we can make small differences.
• Deep listening is awesome and radical
• Gardening is awesome
• We want to make the world a better place
• I can transform the direction of the organization – I have opportunity to have it, to work within the system. I can help define how they are Anused.

Outline:

Its simple, what to do – but runs counter to how we’ve been socialized

speaking personally, reflecting on work, and what we dedicate our life energy to. Love and respect. Very personal, psychological and macro. Am I really doing anything – these questions are really scary? None of these things need to be in reaction to each other. Yes – and – healing work can also be passifying – allowing someone to stay in a really fundamentally unhealthy job.

How have we been socialized – roots

How does it show up

-breaking down the narcissism narrative

-hearing other people share their experiences, its humbling to hear other people’s experiences

-devaluing of work – because anyone can do it.

-listening arts – really sacred – but expected, not valued, not paid – you are listening

but don’t have something to say

-not enoughness is actually egocentricity –Approaches and principles

-revisioning the missionary narrative

-humility

-Freire

not a sense of despair, I can break it down and hope re-emerges.